Have You Ever Noticed How F@#!in' D#@! Sonuva B!@$# S#!!?

by Chad Jacobs

Tourette's Sufferer

I'm a normal guy. D@#n it! I'm okay when it comes to those d@#n motherf@ckers! But one thing really catches my attention. Haven't you seen how these people live? Again, let me repeat this: Have you ever noticed how f@#!in d#@! sonuva B!@$# S#!!?

Just the other day, I was walking down the road, when motherf#cker, you f#cking b@$!ard s#@t hole f@#ker! F@#!! Then, I saw this other guy, and he was all, "S#!t! Motherf@cking f@cker a$$ b@$!ard f@ck! S#it! F@ck!" When I came with him, he said, F@CCCKKK!!! And holy s#@t piece of s#@t motherfuc$er! S##t! F@ck! He told me I had to f@ck s#it piece of f@ck!

Now, normally, I'm a reasonable guy. But his was just too much. I mean, you know? Holy s@#t-f@$!er! But when I realized he wanted f@$k-@$s b@$tard f@$k!, how could I honestly holy f@ck! I wanted to talk to my sister about it, but how could I? She wouldn't stand for this s@#t piece of s@#t f@cker s@#t!

Now, holy living s@#t f@ck! Godd@#n f@ck s#!t f#!k s#!t! Da#n! Fuc#er f@ck! S#it fuc#! And then, when he told me, s@## holy f#cking s@it f@ck @s#-hole f#ck! So I told him I would not stand for this. And you know what he said to me? Holy s@#t f@ck! He told me he wanted to f@ck off, b@$t#rds f@ck!

And it's not just him! It's everyone like that! They're always, holy s#it, man! F@CK! And I'm always right, too! But no, they just go on and on. F@CK S#IT PIECE OF F@CK G@DD@MN MOTHERF#CKER F@CK S!IT F@CK!

So, in conclusion, people really need to lighten up. Why don't they? It makes no sense! But seriously. HOLY F@CK S#IT F#CK D@MN MOTHERF@CK S#IT F#CK D@MN MOTHERF@CK S#IT B!@CH A$S HOLE F@CK B!@CH S#IT F@CK! HOLY F@CKIN SH@T F@CK! F@CK F#CK F!CK F$CK F?CK F@CK SHI@ F#CCCKKK!

Point/Counterpoint

Point


I Bet I Could Sex Her Up Real Good


by Jay Morelli





Ooooo, check out that as#! Uh, I could have a lot of fun with her, if you know what I mean. Mmmm, look at that! I know what I would do if I got that as# to myself. Mmmm, da#n! I wish I could get my eyes on those boobies! I bet she's so horny right now... Mmm, what I would do with her in bed... wow.


I could have a lot of fun with her! Hours and hours of wild, crazy f@#$ing, just me and her, together. Mmm, gimme somea that!


I mean, just look at that a$s! Wow! I could give her all the pleasure she wants! Mmm, that's the kind of girl I could picture myself goin' at it all night with...





Counterpoint


He Looks Like The Man I Could Spend The Rest of My Life With


by Audrey Mariel





Ooooo, check out that face! That's the kind of looks I'm lookin' for in a man! I could have a lotta fun with him after dating for five months, getting married, and considering our future and financial stability together, if you know what I mean.


Mmmm, look at that! I know that he looks like the kind of responsible, trustworthy man I could buy a house, start a family and spend the rest of my life with! Dang! I wish I could get my eyes on his body, after courting and getting married, that is. I bet he's so eager to start a family right now... Wow, the parenting team we would make... mmm.


I could have a great future with him! Years and years of great, amazing marital faithfulness, just me and him. Wow, give me some of that!


I mean, just look at that cool, calm demeanor! Wow! He's just the type of emotionally stable man I could use in my life! I bet he could give me all the emotional stability I need to balance myself out! Wow, that's the kind of man I could picture myself asking out on a date, going out for six months with, getting married to, buying a house with, starting a family with, and spending the rest of my life with...

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By A Blind Man



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Hustle!

By Coach Jenkins

C'mon, Williams! Run!


We ain't gonna beat Richmond with that effort!


C'mon, fellas! We're goin' for state here!


Hustle,fellas,hustle!


C'mon, man! HIT! Hit 'em!


C'mon boys, hit 'em in the mouth!


Tackle 'im! C'mon, boys!


My grandma can hit better than that!


GOODWYN! Come 'ere, boy!


You can't let him get past you like that!


You gotta tackle 'em!


C'mon now! Get out there!


Let's go fellas! C'mon, now!


Let's go!!! C'mon!


We're goin' for state, fellas! We're goin' for state!


Let's go!


We gotta hit 'em out there!


RUN! Run, Williams, run!


Atta boy, Williams! There we go!


We gotta do some more of that, fellas!


Let's go!


Nice pass, Carter! Very nice!


Let's go!


Hustle, now, hustle!


Run!


We gotta give our very best now, guys!


Let's go, let's go, let's go!


Friday night, fellas!


Goin' for state!


No one gave us a chance, fellas! No one!


Let's go out there and prove 'em wrong!


C'mon, now!


We gotta hit 'em!


Hustle! Hustle, now, hustle!


C'mon!


Hurry up! Let's go, let's go, let's go!


C'mon now, guys!


We gotta hit 'em!


Hustle, now, hustle!


Alright, fellas, good!


Take a water break.


We gotta get back out there and hustle on Friday night!