Man Just Going Crazy With Sneezes

INDIANAPOLIS, IN- Area man Arthur Sanderson was reportedly going crazy with sneezes earlier today."Oh, Arthur? Yeah, he was just going bananas with sneezes earlier," friend and coworker Anne Carter told reporters.
The 29-year-old systems analyst had just finished eating lunch when, according to sources, he let out the "loudest sneeze you will ever hear." That was, of course, before his second sneeze, which led the group of coworkers seated at a nearby lunch table to correct themselves and dub the second sneeze as the loudest you will ever hear. "It was like an angry man screaming," colleague Aaron Lowder told reporters. "I was actually pretty frightened."
According to onlookers, the man then became bleary-eyed and left his mouth hanging open, while reportedly inhaling and coming close to sneezing many times, yet never reaching his intended goal of a completed sneeze.
After about 30 seconds of this, the man then sneezed again, followed by an additional 30 seconds of thinking he was about to sneeze. After that, Sanderson then let out a series of sneezes, which were weak and characterized by their extra sloppiness. He then went an additional 45 seconds of thinking he was going to sneeze, before releasing an extra string of sloppy, wet sneezes.
He then had to retrieve some Kleenexes from his desk.
"I feel really bad for him," said Elijah Sterling, who reportedly sits at the desk next to Sanderson's. "The whole office was watching as he let loose that series of snot-filled creations. Poor guy."
At press time, Sanderson had reportedly stopped sneezing for 15 seconds after retrieving the Kleenexes from his desk, yet started right back up again after that.