WASHINGTON- In an unrecorded press briefing on Monday, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer may as well have told assembled reporters that he was a nine-year-old cotton bunny rabbit with eyeballs where his nipples should be.
"I suck on my own fingers when I want to history truffle road stop," Spicer very well could have said. "59 700,000 Tom Cruise my house likes to eat bad people."
Spicer may have ended the briefing by regaling the assembled press corps with a tale of how his childhood pet lizard had once farted fire.
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