Ref Obviously In Hurry To Get Game Over With

ST. LOUIS, MO- National Football League referee Ed Hochuli was obviously in a hurry to get the Dallas Cowboys-St. Louis Rams game over with earlier this week.

"C'mon, boys, let's go," he said after a Cowboys first down as he placed the ball on the field. "Let's go, c'mon. I got tons of stuff to do today."

"After, like, every first down, he would just, like, hurry us up and stuff," Cowboys tight end Jason Witten said. "He always tried to get us to go no-huddle and stuff, too. I have no idea what his hurry was."

In addition to rushing the players, Hochuli also resorted to other time-saving tactics.

"He kept trying to let the clock keep going whenever it was supposed to stop. Like whenever somebody scored a touchdown, he was just like, '(whistles)', and just did that thing with his arm signaling the time-keeper to let the clock keep running, like nobody would notice," Rams running back Steven Jackson remarked.

At the 2-minute warning, which alerts the players that there are 2 minutes remaining in the half, the clock usually stops and the teams take a timeout. However, when the clock reached 2:00 remaining in the first half, Hochuli signaled for the clock to start as the teams were headed for the sidelines.

"Hey! Where you goin'?" he said. "Forget the 2-minute warning! I got stuff to do! C'mon!"

(Needless to say, his attempt at skipping the 2-minute warning was futile.)

Hochuli also resorted to blatantly ignoring certain calls and challenges that would have led to unnecessary stoppage of game time.

"I had a pass coming right towards me," Cowboys receiver Miles Austin said. "The defender just grabbed me and all kinds of stuff. There's no question it should've been interference."

The call, however, was ignored by Hochuli.

"Aaah, uncatchable," he explained.

When Cowboys coach Wade Phillips called for a challenge on a controversial call in the third quarter, Hochuli picked up the challenge flag and handed it to Phillips, saying, "No challenges in the final half."

"That was total bullcrap," Phillips said of the incident. "I don't know what his deal was today."

When asked why he was in such a rush, Hochuli responded, "I don't know, I just had a lot of stuff to do today. You know how it is. Busy, busy, busy!"

As of press time, it is believed that Hochuli just had to go to the bathroom really, really bad.