No News Today

ALL OVER THE WORLD- We're sorry, but unfortunately no newsworthy or especially relevant events have taken place in the past 24 hours anywhere across the globe. That's right- no wars, no new presidential cabinet selections, no new groundbreaking studies, no amazing discoveries, nd no special celebrity appearances on Saturday Night Live. "Nothing has really happened around here," said Stanford scientist Dr. Evan H. McGregor, PhD.

When contacted for information on new developments in his life after the presidential campaign, former candidate Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) relied, "Well, I tried those new foot pads my doctor gave me. But that's about it. Oh, I also forgot to take my medicine yesterday."

Even in the sports world, things seem to remain constant and unsurprising. Alabama (for some reason) is still No. 1 in the college football AP poll, asm well as the BCS standings. There have been no major upsets in recent weeks, and the polls ahve remained largely the same. Oh yeah, and the Titans are still undefeated.

So, yeah, other than that, nothin' really happened today. Soooo... (cough). Yeah. Um.... I don't really have anything else to say. So yeah. How are things with you? How's the move going? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And the parents? Mm-hmm. So the dog's doing well. How 'bout this weather, huh? Yeah, man. You're tellin' me. Yeah... so, yeah. Huh, you can say that again.

We regret not being able to bring you any news today. Please forgive us for letting this uneventful day pass by. So, anyway, to make it up to you, here's this thing. Isn't it cute??