WASHINGTON, DC- The Washington Redskins have just announced today that, due to growing pressure from racial equality groups, they have changed their name to the Washington Stupid, Uneducated, Tan-Skinned Idiotmen.
"The Washington Redskins have officially changed their name to Washington Stupid, Uneducated, Tan-Skinned Idiotmen," Stupid, Uneducated, Tan-Skinned Idiotmen Owner Dan Snyder said. "We felt this was the right thing to do, and we shouldn't put it off anymore."
The Stupid, Uneducated, Tan-Skinned Idiotmen had come under fire from racial equality groups in recent years, and the pressure had only gotten worse the past two years. In 2006, the National Association for Indian Rights (NAIR) protested the team's former name. "This is a disgusting misrepresentation of the Native American people," NAIR President Tom Martin said of the team's former name at the time. When the team ignored the NAIR's complaints, they decided to boycott the Redskins' games for the 2007 season. However, this did not have much of an effect.
"To be honest, we just wanted those m@#!?!#@!kers out of our hair," Snyder said. "I'm glad we can move on now."
When informed of the team's new nickname, Martin said, "WHAT?!" and beat the reporters away with a shovel.
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